Monday, July 23, 2012

Mommy Confessional - I'm a Slob


Okay, here goes. I admit it. I'm a slob. Well, not exactly a slob. More like a recovering slob. You see, I want to clean, I try to clean, I spend what seems like the majority of my life cleaning, but my house is never actually clean. It's like I'm always taking one step forward, two steps back. I clean the counters, someone tracks dirt across the floor. I clean the floor, someone pees all around, but somehow not in, the toilet. I clean around the toilet, someone spits a mouthful of toothpaste all over the mirror and faucet.  It's like a never ending battle of the slobs and I am seriously losing.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to put the blame on everybody else. I may clean a lot, but I also make much of the mess. My problem, pretty much the essence of the entire problem, is that I and my family don't put things away. The counters, floor, island, bookshelf - it's all fair game. One thing gets left out, then another, then before you know it the entire house is covered with clutter.

Which leads to my next problem... Crap.

My house is practically splitting at the seams with crap - not literal crap, (though sometimes I wonder) metaphorical crap - i.e. crap. It's gotten so bad, the crap has migrated into the garage and now I can't even park there anymore. More crap is filling up half of our "computer room" (I put that in quotes because "crap room" would be a better description) and don't even get me started on the room above the garage that was supposed to be Don's music room. The poor guy is confined to a 3X3 foot space to play guitar because the rest of the room is full of... you guessed it, CRAP! Now there is a purpose behind all of this crap. I am not a hoarder or anything. I had grand plans for all of the wonderful things I might do with all of  my spare time this summer, and one of those things was to have a garage sale. Unfortunately, I've stalled at the making piles of crap stage and have a very long way to progress before hitting the getting rid of crap stage.

My laundry situation is even worse. If I actually get the clothes into the washer, more likely than not, I will forget about them. Which means I have to wash them over again. Consider that this scenario can, and has, taken place multiple times with a single load, and you can understand my need to make my own laundry detergent. Now if I do, somehow, manage to get the laundry - sans mildew - into the dryer, I will inevitably forget about it. Then, I have to run it through the dryer again to get the wrinkles out. Do you see a pattern developing here? Now, if I pass this stage and pull the clothes out of the dryer, I don't often get around to folding them immediately - hey I'm busy - so they spend a couple days decorating my couch or sitting in a basket. Now of course, they're wrinkled, so they needs to be run through the dryer again. If I, by the grace of god, do fold the laundry, I almost never get around to putting it in the kids drawers. So what happens is that we all route around in the laundry basket making such a mess of things that they end up just needing to be washed again, so hell! That is why, on any given day, the laundry pile is well above, over, around, and every which-way about the hamper. I'm lucky if I can see the damn thing, truthfully.

Now, I know what you're thinking... "Courtney just do the laundry and put things it away." It sounds simple now, but, you see, I haven't finished.. Oh yes, there is more.

Don't forget that I have two kids who seem to have inherited my slob gene. I have toys coming out my wazoo, (yes, it's a word) and I have developed a wonderful system of bins to contain that wealth of playthings, however, nothing actually gets put into the bins. Instead, the toys are often lining the floors directly adjacent to the wonderful bins. And then, I can't put the toys away because they are blocking the damn bins! I have, on more than one occasion, resorted to the "I will throw away every toy on the floor." threat with much success, but it is unfortunately short lived. Five minutes later all of the toys are strewn about the house again, and I'm trying my best not to kill myself tripping on a Barbie doll.

That leaves me with the here and now, and what is my wreck of a house. It's filled with toys, laundry and crap, covered in a thick layer of nastiness and sprinkled with filth. I am completely unable to even begin to contemplate where to start to fix this. I am overwhelmed and understaffed. I have quite frankly given up. And now that the children have gone to bed, and I actually have time to do something about the state of my house, I choose to sit and air my dirty laundry (literally) on this blog.

Why? Because I am a slob.

 

30 comments:

  1. Hahah, I know how you feel! It's a constant battle and it's less stressful to just let it go. But my 3 year old helps me tidy up every night now. She has a choice between doing that and getting to watch or tv show before bed, or going straight to bed. Definitely one of my better ideas. :D

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    1. That is a good one! I threaten to either throw away toys (they know I'm crazy enough to do it) or I threaten to take away video game time.

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  2. Hi there! I'm visiting from Monday Mingle. I totally know what you mean!! I think we have slob gene multiplying here too!! LOL! I am now a new follower and would be honored if you would visit and follow me back at http://lifeofblocks.blogspot.com/ Thanks!

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  3. Visiting from Mom Blog! I SO know how you feel...it is a constant struggle!
    http://13plumconfessions.blogspot.com/2012/07/LearningSomethingNew.html

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  4. You are not alone! Oyyy my little one isn't even here yet, but my big one (my husband) I think might be worse then what I'm about to take on with the baby! I too am a slob! The laundry scenario was like reading my life. I feel as if I spend my whole life cleaning and NOTHING IS CLEAN!

    Good LUCK! We slobs need to stick together :)

    Hillarie
    muellermenage.blogspot.com!

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    1. Thank you! That makes me feel a little better. :)

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  5. hahaha... I can SO relate!! I actually just folded about 4 loads of laundry (but haven't put it away.. Heaven's no..) and ONLY because I have about 10 people coming to my house tomorrow.. eek!

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    1. That's always the worst. Trying to scramble to clean up before people come over. I always tell Don that we aren't looking for "clean" just the appearance of "clean"

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  6. LOL...sweet post. I think we can all relate, although I have 'cleaned up' my act considerably. I actually find cleaning cathartic - when I have the time to do it (LOL).

    I am your newest follower (returning your follow) and look forward to more visits.

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    1. Thanks, Meryl. I do find it cathartic, at times. I've actually grown almost fond of doing the dishes, but I can't keep up no matter how hard I try.

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  7. WE ARE THE SAME PERSON! SERIOUSLY! I want to clean too, but I usually end up just moving one pile of crap to another place. You should see the spare bedroom, it looks like a BOMB exploded in there because I just throw junk in it to make the other rooms look decent. I try, honestly =) I found your blog via the blog hop. I would love it if you checked out my blog! I'm now following and can't wait to see what else you post to make me giggle.

    Sarah @ Our Family of Three
    woodsfamilyofthree.blogspot.com

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    1. This made me laugh. I am going to lok at your blog right now. :)

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  8. So happy to hear there are others like me!! I noticed my son had no pj's and my husband no clean underwear, then I realized that I had done laundry (3 loads) it was all just sitting patiently in the basket waiting to be folded! I want to be tidier, I just don't want to put in the effort most days. Being a working mom, I would rather spend time with my son than fold laundry...until the day that he can fold it with me ;)

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    1. Ha! That's awesome. You have a much better excuse. I mostly work from home these days.

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  9. Been there done that! My 6 kids are now married and I have cleaning ladies that clean weekly. I love Tuesdays!! Cleaning house while you have children is like trying to shovel snow while it's snowing!! Good luck--just enjoy!
    I'm you newest follower.

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    1. That is the perfect metaphor for how I feel.:)
      Thanks for the follow.

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  10. Hi,
    New follower from the blog hop please come follow me back :)
    http://lifewithtwinsandadramaqueen.com/

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    1. I'm already following you. :) Thanks following.

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  11. I can assure you, YOU AREN'T ALONE! I figure closets were made for stashing all that crap right before company comes over. Besides, a clean house signifies a boring life, right?

    I found your blog on the Flock Together Hop and I am looking forward to reading your quirky posts - your personality just oozes out of your writing - what a wonderful quality to have. :)

    Ashley
    www.ablackboardoflessons.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks so much! That is a huge compliment. I really like your blog as well. I think our educational philosophies are a lot alike. :)

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  12. Great post! Added you to GFC but linky followers widget says it's not working.

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    1. Thanks for letting me know. I don't know why it's not working. I took it down, and posted networked blogs instead.

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  13. I know the feeling because my house is exactly the same way. No matter how much I clean, it never ever stays clean for more than about 30 minutes (and that is only if all the kids and dogs are out of the house for that 30 minutes!). And I have found it only gets worse the older the kids get.....:-(

    I am visiting from Mom's Best Nest Flock Together Tuesday Hop.

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    1. Geez,don't tell me that. I was hoping it would get better as they got older. Ugh!

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  14. Came across your blog on Blog Hops Everyday. And I so know your feeling no matter what I do there is always laundry to be done always the laundry...even though I can watch tv it's just never-ending.

    Jesse
    http://proverbs2318.wordpress.com

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    1. Yeah. You'd think I'd fold more since I can do it in front of the TV, but nope.

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  15. OMG...the laundry thing is so real here too - 4 kids = lots of washing. One thing that is sorta working for us is I gave each kid their own basket & when I take things off line (usually so I have space to hang more lol) I fold straight into individual basket...that way kids not messing up everything....but this doesn't really work for hubby & me as we tend to take basket to our room but not unpack it :( If you want to see slob...try being married to some one who grew up with servants!! I love your blog btw...made me feel heaps better...Please feel free to hop on over to my blog www.raisingmy4kids.wordpress.com

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